I Know No Other Stand

I have been distracted somewhat by the beginning of baseball season. There is a romance to the idea of the ballgame, for me. I don't have the same feelings about other major sports such as football, or basketball, or even my own soccer. I also recognize the timelessness of some sporting pastimes such as tennis or golf, but usually saw them as white privilege sports, which is a turnoff for me. But baseball is the old fashioned American Pastime, the iconography of childhood bubble-gum trading cards; it's the province of DiMaggio and the Babe, the same dust stirred by the prodigious cleats of Rollie Fingers and Willie Mays. There is nothing that compares to the tension as a pitcher works all the muscles of his body, and all the finesse in his fingertips, to bend the path of a projectile with pinpoint accuracy through the air around the swinging bat of a formidable opponent. Fine-tuned skill is pitted against fine-tuned skill for the pride of two American towns.

Andre "The Hawk" Dawson! The (erstwhile) Montreal Expos of the 1980's! Looking at this picture makes me feel like I am five years old again, in a good way.

Wednesday 14
Finished my taxes. I can't wait to get a little back this year. But next year I am determined to do them in February.

Thursday 15
After work I had been invited to come spend some time with Asher up in the hills where he was house-sitting for his boss the fire chief. Hot tub plus steaks and beer at a hill-folk fireman's house made it the most blue-collar guy-time I've had in a while, just brother Peter and old pal Asher. I called Ramsey and Jared but neither of them could go. Asher has been living in a bubble up there in the hills, away from everything. I haven't seen him much since the days we all used to go to college Bible study, perhaps three years ago now. After his breakup he just sorta receded into the hills and doesn't often drive down into town. It has been bad for his redneck complex, but he's still a man of solid character, and a trustworthy friend, which both make him good company.

Friday 16
Ashley (friend and band vocalist), called to let me know she couldn't go with the band to the college ministry Summit this year. Baby, husband, etc. That's a bit of a blow to Martha and the Chores, but we'll manage fine. It was doubtless the right choice. She'll still be singing with us in the wedding. The question raised in that conversation was whether the ever-improving MATC should begin to work more like a real band a less like a once- or twice-annual worship project. We agreed that nearly everyone in the band seems to be on-board for a higher commitment level. Friday night study was excellent conversation on the topic of godliness, in the context of 1 Timothy 4, devolving into a review of the basic gospel message. Really a refreshing time.

Saturday 17
Sunny and warm are new favorites of mine. Trent and I met Daniel Lee at the high school and played pick-up basketball. It was luxuriously healthy to get the exercise without the "hamster wheel" feeling of the rainy day gym. I got a light sunburn, of which I was proud. Family time at my parents' house in the evening to watch an old 1970's sermon by Nicky Cruz.

Sunday 18
Church was nice. The sermon was by the energetic young dad from Texas, Brady, who will be the Summit guest speaker this year. He asked us all to stand and sing my favorite hymn, Immanuel's Land, at the end of the sermon (lyrics at the conclusion of this post). Went home again and chatted with mom over PB&J. I love seeing (our yellow lab) Jude when I go home, and looking at the Cecil Brunner and blackberries intertwining in the sun. Band meeting and practice was more organized than usual, and went well. We've also, to the delight of all, been asked to add "When I'm 64" to the wedding song-list. That made my weekend.

Monday 19
Doctor check-up in the morning. He said I should keep receiving physical therapy a bit longer, and gave me a little immune system advice. Spent part of the day working and part of the day catching up on schoolwork. It's nice when the boss is out of town because I can work whatever hours I want. My suspicions were confirmed, upon looking over the grades; it doesn't appear I am on an "A" pace. Unacceptable! :/

Tuesday 20
Made an appointment with a potential client. Am happy with the prospect.

Wednesday 21
Physical therapy in the morning, work, then class in the afternoon. I discussed MEChA with one of my classmates. I had expressed some interest in attending MEChA meetings with some of my Chicano friends from SJSU, not so much because I agree with the policy positions of the group (in fact I quite disagree with most of their tact and ideology), but because I sympathize with some of their concerns and want to reach out to the Latin community in general when I can. I don't know if I'll go, however. I am not sure people in that group are about anything more than ethnic pride and Progressive politics, both of which I believe to be very insidious and harmful. In the evening Trent and I drove downtown to the Mini Gourmet, and met Peter, Phi, and DMV there, and they had brought an old acquaintance along in Bekka Bjorke. It was a fun evening, though sometimes the contrast of open-hearted Christians on one side of the table, against the aimless foulness of the utterly worldly on the other, is somewhat awkward. I wish I could get rid of their perception of my/our self-righteousness (in that I believe in truth and defend it) and just see the Jesus I see.

{ end }

Immanuel's Land

O Christ, He is the fountain, The deep, deep well of love,

The streams on earth I've tasted, More deep I'll drink above,

There to an ocean fullness, His mercy doth expand,

And glory, glory dwelleth in Immanuel's land.

With mercy and with judgment My web of time He wove,

And aye the dews of sorrow were lustred with His love,

I'll bless the hand that guided, I'll bless the heart that planned,

When throned where glory dwelleth, in Immanuel's land.

O! I am my Beloved’s And my Beloved’s mine!

He brings a poor vile sinner Into His “house of wine.”

I stand upon His merit, I know no other stand,

Not even where glory dwelleth in Immanuel’s land.

The Bride eyes not her garments, but her dear Bridegroom’s face;

I will not gaze at glory but on my King of Grace.

Not at the crown He giveth, But on His pierced hand;

The Lamb is all the glory of Immanuel’s land.

Auto, Beck, Drinks, Bible, Baseball, & Office Style

Wednesday 17
Worked. Had forgotten all about St. Pat's, so no green. I love my protestant types, but I find it mildly annoying they always de-emphasize that one. (I wonder if they celebrate that in England?) went to class.There is no set of words in my mind proper to the task of describing how I feel, brisking my way across that University campus twice a week. But, and this is perplexing, it's decidedly un-medical.

Went home and put on a green shirt (yes the green-shirt) and some shorts because it's been so happily warm.

Was thrilled to go drop a cheque by Mike's house to pay for my new car. It's hardly new but it will do for "new" in my world. It's a silver 1997 Acura CL 2.2, which has a sun roof, great sound, and motorized leather seats, all of which make me feel significantly upgraded, but also like I am one step closer to being the perfect old man. Downsides: two-door, automatic transmission. Sigh. I am determined to once again own a manual transmission vehicle within the next few years, but we shall see.


I dropped Mike a few hundred extra for all his troubles. I'm sure it cost him almost that much to hang on to that car while I was trying to decide whether to buy it, and I think he needs it a good deal more than I do. Besides, I may have decimated a chunk of savings, but I'm still debt-free, so I want a Dave Ramsey merit badge or something. I ain't braggin'. Well, okay yes I am.

Went to Beck and Heather's house with Trent and Peter. We looked at old photos of the glory days in college ministry when we all used to be at their old house every week, and the pictures of the trips to Italy and Romania, Mexico and the snow. It's funny how much their family glows. They always ask me to play a couple worship songs, and somehow I don't mind being put on the spot to do that when I'm with them. It's just a privilege to know people so sincere, genuine, serious, cheery and loving.

We fellows went back to my place afterward and each had a spot of black beer and Bailey's over conversation. None of us were quite sure what to do with the Irish Cream, and were surprised to find how sugary it is. I have a hard time imagining how anyone could ever drink that stuff straight.

Thursday 18
Workaday. Felt a mite dehydrated. Note to self: drink water when imbibing alcohol. Boss has horrible habit of leaning directly over me while pointing at the screen of my computer to indicate changes he wants. He has always done this, but lately he has done it much more. He also spits a bit when he talks, and he does not provide a towel. Of course, that doesn't change the fact that he is incredibly good at what he does. It just changes my comfort level. The main thing I do protest is when he approaches the screen with the business end of a pencil. No, boss, no! Bad boss!

Had promised old Vaccerelli we'd come visit San Francisco Thursday night. Tiny (Tim Nichols) came along, and we prayed before we got there and prayed after we left. A few drinks, a moment or two of serious metaphysical conversations mixed with amazing juke tunes and Phi-brand company. Good times in general. But we got back so late. I really need to get back to my 10pm drop-dead bed time.

Friday 19
Nothing really happened. Went to work, came home, worked on Bible study and homework, went to bed on time, etc. Had an outburst of poetic creativity for about a half hour toward the end of the day. It will publish tomorrow on The Tortoise Initiative.

Saturday 20
Got up at five, finished Bible study stuff, worked on draft preparation for Matt's dynasty league.

Drove the 45 minutes to Fremont, got there by 8, went to pick up pastries and coffee for the guys. Studied I Samuel till a little after noon. I think Erich Wieger, our Bible study leader, is a genius.

I think I drafted well. It was rather frantic because the Jeremys' (Walker and Cooper) internet was down, so I had to use the neighbor's wireless signal, which was weak. I lost connection every five minutes or so for the entire two-hour draft. Jeremy (Purves, who was at home in Modesto) took his turns slowly whenever I appeared to have left the draft, to try to buy me time to reconnect. Actually in retrospect it is hilarious, but at the time it was really frustrating, and I must have looked very comically flustered with that laptop, couched with an intense look on my face.

Went over to Tiny's house to consult with him about his growing "office worker" career. We discussed a possible website design and marketing strategies, which his employer badly needs, and also wardrobe. It really was fun to go through his shirts and explain which ones were dress shirts, and which ones were certainly not, and why. Then we had a lesson in pressing the shirts, and how to use starch. There were a lot of "whys" that I had never thought about and it was fun. His mother seemed amused at the whole process. We didn't get around to pants, or tying ties, or the fact that the six ties he has are terrible 90's and 70's crimes.

I went with Tiny and BJ (his brother) to see Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, which was an awfully dirty disappointment and too expensive. Note to self: never pay four dollars for a hot dog again, especially if they are out of relish.

Week Off, Week On

The week of April Fools' Day I had off from school. There were no April Follies. I got back my grades, which amounted to another 4.0.

Thursday, April 3, I had the day off work, so I crashed at Trent's house the night before and we set out on the road after breakfast. We decided to go north, try out Highway 1 and see how far we could go in a day. Ate lunch in a tiny town on Hwy 1 called Point Reyes Station (which Trent kept mispronouncing RAH-yez). We ended up continuing north, and disembarking at a beach for a bit. (Check out these maps. I labeled everything and included pictures. Linking to the larger version might be easier.)

View Larger

View Larger

That was good, but we hadn't even gotten as far as Jenner before we decided we ought to head back. Well, that didn't take long. Heading south on Hwy 101, we made up most of the afternoon's distance in about 15-20 minutes. Crossing the Golden Gates again, we arranged to meet up with my old friend JP and his girl Christine. Ate at an Italian restaurant, and it was good.

Friday, April 4 was relatively uneventful other than the fact that two of my new classes were canceled so I had to reshuffle my schedule. This quarter I will be working for P. Svalya, Inc.(my old boss), on MWF, and my new job in the Marketing Department at the college will occupy my Tuesdays and Thursdays. I will be carrying 11 college units and working roughly 40 hours. Woo.

Over the first weekend of April we saw this movie called Stop Loss, which was pretty much depressing. Went with Aundrea, Katie, Bethany, Chris and Peter. Katie wanted to see it because she thought it was going to be a chick flick. After all, it had a bunch of boy-toy non-actors in it, like Channing Tatum and Ryan Philippe. But in the end it just made Bethany scared that David's going to get stop-lossed once he's deployed. Note to Self: No more war movies with significant others or members of the military. I felt bad, it really messed with her head. It's gotta suck being a military spouse.

On Sunday, April 6, I gave a lecture during middle hour, about being a good witness. Pretty difficult topic to teach, considering I've never been that successful, that I know of. (Witnessing, that is; sharing Jesus with people...proselytizing.)

The first week of classes was rather boring, although it did make the quarter look like it's going to be challenging. I managed to say the wrong thing a couple times at my new job already. Note to self: I am going to need some remedial training in distinguishing how to talk to different races. I am just not used to treating people differently depending on their skin color. To me it seems backwards, but if it makes people feel respected that I acknowledge that they look different, then I guess it's worthwhile. I am so post-race in my Silicon Valley mindset, it's really odd to think in terms of tiptoeing around potentially racially charged situations.

Thursday, April 10, I had an unusual day in that about five times in one day (which is about five times more than usual) some random but very cute girl made eyes at me or flirted with me in some overt way. Must have been wearing the right clothing or something.

Saturday, April 12, I spent the morning at a conference for church elders and "interested men" in San Leandro, at Fairhaven Bible Chapel. It was hot and I got a free book and some homemade salsa, and talked with an inspiring church elder from San Diego. Note to self: I like driving to San Leandro. Perfect driving distance. Long enough to think or talk something through. Saw the Fairhaven guys. They're awesome dudes.


Larger Map

My Aunt Karin and cousin Kim came into town for the day, so we saw them over pizza and beers in the evening. They're visiting California from Alabama, where they live now. Also saw most of the other cousins including Jessi, Adam and Ange, and even Josh. I talked to cousin Chris on the phone, so if only I'd talked with TJ that would have been all the Ballard-side cousins in one shot.


Sunday, April 13, I saw Run, Fat Boy, Run with Trent, Peter and Brett. Was a pretty good flick. Brett didn't not like it, Pete liked it alright, Trent was disappointed that it wasn't a Hot Fuzz paced comedy. I liked a lot of things about it, especially his rock band tee shirts. That's an old Siouxsie & The Banshees tee in the pic, people, which is instant cred in my book.

Hired. Cop. Clash. Call. Music. Hospital.

Friday 3/14/08 I worked all day. Got a call around noon from the marketing director at De Anza College, offering me the job for which I had interviewed. I accepted. I left work a little early and went to West Valley college where they were having the San Jose Clash speech & debate tournament. I judged a round from 4:30-6 then filled out the ballot for an hour before going to bible study. Went over to Trent's place and watched The Big Sleep, left around midnight, got pulled over by a cop on a routine "California roll" making a right turn on a stoplight. He let me go. Looked disappointed I wasn't a criminal.


Saturday 3/15/08 I spent the whole day at the tournament again, judging and spending time with the Winthers and fellow Clash alums such as my beloved ol' debate partner JP Rose and his girl, and other rascals including Joe Rose, Michael Majchrowicz, Kendra, Noela, Sammy Franusic, Thane Rehn and Joe Sheffield. Little Bob Rose isn't so small anymore; he got 3rd place speaker in the tourney, and was one vote away from qualifying for nationals. Went to the Duke for a drink and a bite before getting a crazy call from Hilary then heading home, tired out, around 1:30 a.m.

Sunday 3/16/08 was boring. Got to church late-ish, didn't socialize much after. Went to Starbucks because I needed some alone time with God, but saw Katie I. there, which resulted in one of those long catching-up conversations. Still managed to have a good quiet time but I didn't get much done in the evening.

Monday 3/17/08 I worked all day. Productive day. Also payday. In the bank parking lot, an Italian man tried to get me to buy 4 Gucci leather jackets for the price of one at half-off. Luckily I am not stupid and I just ignored him. I went to Rasputin because I couldn't find this album anywhere online:


I also thumbed through the bargain bins (50c - $2.95) and came up with some pretty good stuff. I always have to choose. Either way, I definitely checked some things off my want list without dropping much coin.

Went home, Brian came over but left again right away. Never got around to St. Patrick's day celebrations. Started trying to finish my homework quickly, but Peter came home with some kind of major abdominal pain and asked me to take him to the ER. He was in a pretty bad way but within a couple hours he had gotten better and the docs didn't find anything in the blood-work or ultrasound imaging. Got a late fast-food dinner with Trent. Talked for a while. Went home and crashed.

When I Don't Need to Do the Homework

Friday night after my last post I tried to go to the mall again, failed. Went to Bible study, that was fine but boring.

Yesterday I met Aaron, one of my best friends of mine since childhood, for coffee and catching up since we haven't really talked in months. He's thinking about engagement rings. I then spoke with Megan on the phone, which was flipping awesome though cut short, and then Leah, which might have been more awesome if it had been cut short. 'Sall good, sometimes I open my mouth and put my foot in it. I had planned to do homework, but I didn't get much done. I so often don't when I want to, then do when I need to and can't afford not to anymore. Not the best pattern. Went home to clean a little. Spring cleaning is the thing. Then I went to see 10,000 B.C. with Grace, Jared, Jean, Jenny & Jessica. That movie was so incredibly crappy, but had a fun cheese factor. Came back home, did nothing. Ennui! Went to bed.

Today I went to church, sat through it. God is good but my soul was a little like molasses this morning. Talked with Sharon, who showed me some verses in Proverbs 16 that helped me with my developing understanding of life-planning before God. Then saw Mike later, prayed with him and my dad a bit. Tony and Spen were there by then, setting up his Eagle project, rebuilding the benches outside the church building. Helped for a minute, saw "Mr. Ken" Morgan, my old scoutmaster from 10 years ago. Went over to Juicy Burger to hang with Trent and the rest of the crowd. Went home to study, ended up spring cleaning instead. Talked with Dougie on the phone for more than an hour, about his plans and his music and stuff. Says he's now an item with this girl Jen, who lives in Virginia, and he's planning on moving to Prague for a year to teach elementary school for MK's. Cool. We also talked about possibly music blogging together. At five met Dad & Mom and Peter over at the Johns' house for dinner. Indian food is objectively awesome, including goat meat and onion-cilantro-yogurt salad. Texted some with Leah about Big Lebowski quotes and Eagle scouts giving crappy sermons at Meth O'Dissed churches. Talked with Trent a little about the Prov 16 verses. Came home, working on stuff now.

Projmedlasewhiteys + Nubile Onslaught

Yesterday, 3/6/08, I headed to class with my written assignments in my hands. Turned in some handouts, got some more. Met with my project group briefly; nobody knows what they want to do but they're less ambitious than I am, which is understandable since I usually set unrealistically high project goals. Talk talk talk. Dropped by the office, where mediation prep is in full swing on three cases simultaneously. Needless to say, there is occasional confusion. I went to see Dr. Choi again for my back and neck, and again got some laser treatments and physical therapy. Went home, didn't work on homework. Talked on the phone briefly with Rob, chatted online briefly with Hilary and swapped texts with Leah. Kenneth participated in the chat vicariously, or so I'm told. Received the usual crap from my brother for having too many friends in different parts of the country. Rob sent me a link to the following site, which made my week.


Stayed up a little late editing a paper for Trent.

Today has been relatively brisk, catching up at work on some graphics I hadn't polished up for print yet, getting binders ready for mediations. Went to Valley Fair on my lunch hour to look for some new work attire, dressier clothing, etc. Didn't come out with anything. No particular tie or pair of slacks or shoes was calling out to me. I hate malls. In a rare event, I will now present you with a piece of media. The following advertisement video made me tear up a little. It's just that right-on. The fact that they treat the beauty industry the way Nancy Reagan treated drugs, well, I find it appropriate and applause-worthy.

True Dreams, Artificial Awakenings

Monday I helped Mike with his house. The guests from Italy are coming, because the intern program starts soon. I got paint on my jeans. Octavia asked me about some events that happened a couple months ago, and how that's going. I didn't know what she was referring to at first, and the poor gal was trying not to say anything too specific, and making faces like it might be a sensitive topic. I finally figured out she was talking about a girl I had sortof dated. I made nothing of it, because I really hadn't thought about her in a while. But then Monday night I dreamed about it. Must have gotten my subconsious stirred up. Anyway, the funny thing about the dreams, which woke me several times in great discomfiture of mind and heart, weren't your typical fictional fare, but a mere tape of the relationship rewound and replayed, with everything but the awkward parts edited out. I woke up early, glad the night was over.

Tuesdays are 65¢ night at The Beach Boardwalk in Santa Cruz, so we went over. We spun ourselves sick, rode rollercoasters, drove bumper cars, and watched people. I played the original Tetris arcade game for a bit. The sticky "Rotate" button made it a little challenging. I also went into the bathroom to wash my hands, and found on the way out that I had been in the women's restroom. Some lady looked at me funny, but I looked at her funny right back, like "what're YOU doing here?" She had to go out and double check that she was in the right bathroom, but by the time she came back I was gone. Anyway, our whole crowd had ice cream at this decent little joint that had a lot of unusual flavors. The goateed, ponytailed, snaggletoothed late-twentysomething guy started making Big Lebowski references. Overall, a very fun Tuesday night with friends.

De, [LAT. "down from"] (also 4th Letter of the Spa. Alphabet) | Re'ah [HEB. "companion"]

FOREWORD. I bought a plane ticket to Atlanta last week. I bought a plane ticket back home this week. From where? Virgina.


De

I also registered for Spanish 5 online. I pulled up my transcript, and got a shock. Apparently, I was misled in thinking I had gotten a B+ in the class. That must have been my grade on the final, because my transcript says I have a D in Spanish 4. No wonder, transferring from Spanish 2, which I took in 2003. Gah. De priore.

Re'ah

But the big deal is the following. Today I will write this as an altar to the faithfulness of God. I will name it Re'ah, which means "close companion," or "a good friend." May I not forget how, following the Lord, I finally surrendered my right to bring my friends with me, and consented to leave them behind (to "hate" them, as Jesus said) if He so requires. This week in Sam, and in Trent, and in Joel, and in Joelle, and in Kenneth, and in Alissa, and in others, I am encouraged that, on the contrary, the Lord will be faithful to bring His own alongside Him, and I need not strive and struggle for them, nor will He withhold the fellowship that heartens me in my faith. We serve a God who is characterized by lovingkindness, and he is faithful and just. To Him be glory, majesty, dominion and authority, before all time and now and forever. Amen.

The Times, Quickly Becoming a Weekly

Nothing is going on.

I have spoken a lot on the phone with Kenneth, Cannone, Julia and a little with Rob and Jacob. Hung out a bit with Trent, Katie, and the posse this weekend. Played some old songs with Peter for the new girls. Saw the Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Funny, but sadly overrated. Seeya when something noteworthy happens. I shall duly note it.

Collision Collateral

My mood today was largely determined by something that happened January 6th. On that date of this year, someone slammed into the back of the car I was driving, wrecking both the car and my spine.

Today, I was woken by my cell phone. The fellow who is indefinitely babysitting my wrecked car called. He needs a car cover on it before the 10th, which is when his landlord will see it. The car is thrashed.

Midday, I went to my old friend Josh Sikora's wedding reception (the wedding was elsewhere a couple weeks ago). The rest of the day was spent on various odd jobs around the house. I can't begin to explain how shooting low back pain, tight neck muscles, numb hands, and sharp pain between my shoulderblades can slow a fellow down. Just trust me, it was bad today. Afte hours of helping clean our garage, tidying my own room, then poring over documents at the office, the pain is just frustrating. It would be less so, if I thought it would be gone soon.

My band is still looking for time to have a first practice. Tomorrow I will play worship music while my brother leads. Monday, I must find a place to get x-rays. Gotta stop avoiding that.

The Weekend

Friday, I did some reading on housekeeping, and took some measurements of my room. I also filled three trashbags with clothes and things to take to the thrift. The heat was oppressive, so everyone swam at Grace's place after Friday nite Bible study.

Saturday, I charged up the battery on my old smashed Corolla and found that it still runs quite smoothly. I drove it down the street and onto my friend David's trailer, by which means it was safely transported to the lot behind Trent and Shawn’s place, for storage. It no longer need mar my parents' driveway, thank God. I found my happy tie and my Cars' Greatest Hits cassette in the glove box before leaving it. Pete, Trent, and I beat the heat by seeing an air-conditioned showing of Lady in the Water (which was fun, 3.5 stars) and later swimming at Grace’s house again.

Yesterday, the weather topped 110°, and we went to Santa Cruz after church for Danni’s birthday. It was significantly cooler there, and Michael and I hit the cool waves for a little body surfing. Most excellent.

Gigbreakfastcoil

Last night I played a show at City Espresso near Blossom Hill Rd. and Chesbro, in South San Jose, in the 408. I liked it. I could see people following the lyrics, sometimes inquisitively, sometimes approvingly. Julia drove down just for the show, with a friend, which was all cool. The set consisted of newer material, such as "Little Bird (End of Your Songs)" and "I Believe It, It's True," along with some older stuff, such as "Retail Boy," and that song I wrote for Sam a long time ago, "The Storied Breaking and Hooking of Up."

Today I went to Jeffrey's Restaurant down on the south end of Gilroy. We had a surprise birthday breakfast for Trent. We bought him a bike, a pretty damn nice one. Rock hopper. I bought myself some "chicken fried steak" and biscuits w/ gravy. Greasy, but Tabasco makes up for everything like that. What is it about "small coffee cup, perpetual coffee, large tip" that some truckstop waitresses don't understand?

I also fixed my car today. Turned out to the coil on my distributer was burned out. I am out a whole $52.